Sunday :( sad day.

      The last thing on my mind when I slept last night was my patient and her family. I admire how they care for one another, I envied them. I closed my eyes looking forward to a day that I would spend time with my loved ones.

       This morning I woke up with a loud spoken voice so familiar that I’m kind of used to it already, I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad one that it was only her voice. Anyway, I was actually expecting for it to happen at one point, because of what my father told me, but not today. My niece was beside me, I hugged her and tried to cover her ears, hoping that she would not understand the words, but it was so loud that I had to close the door. As I am about to close the door, I took a glimpse of what was going on, I saw my nephew, quiet in the arms of my father, miserly grasping those every words, so I signaled them to go the room. It was not a pretty place for a child. I again remembered my patient, and then I cried. That was the only thing I can do, I still did not have the guts to make things like those stop. And the worse thing is that as the day goes by, it seems that nothing happens, but the feeling remains.

        A lot of times, I don’t know how to act on situations, I don’t know what and how to say things to people, but I know that I’m feeling the right thing to feel in those certain situations, I think I just have to push myself on a greater extent to be able to relay in actions and words that feeling inside me.

           I hate days like this, days which I regret going home during weekends. I still have a lot of things to do, but I am not able to because this just can’t get out of my mind and I know it never will, just adding up to the bad memories file in my head.

            I hope that this will finally end. God, please guide my family. You know how much I love them.