I really
feel bad already.
Ever been to that awkward moment that you and one of your close friends got into some sort of a conflict, and you just started not to talk to each other and due to situations that you have to be together for almost all day, you can't totally avoid that person. You know that reflex when you get so excited and happy or really get sad and depressed that you burst your emotions to one of your friends, but this time you just could not, because, uneasily, you're trying not to face that person. Also, when you'd look for someone and you'll end up looking eye to eye with that person and you immediately look away. This is just so sad!
Saying sorry to someone has been an overused action for me.
But sometimes there are moments that stop me from doing so. Of course I say
sorry to people when I've done something wrong to them, but also sometimes, I
do say sorry to people even it is their fault. I'll always say "Para matapos na, sige na magsosorry
nalang ako", even if it's really against my will.
Now, I'm
having that moment again wherein I feel that I'm really not supposed to be the
one saying sorry. But in this case, I really wanted to say sorry but I just
would not. My heart keeps telling me to "just say sorry, just say sorry, Come on! it's gonna be fine! just say sorry, OMG, what's wrong with you? just say sorry!" but there is also a part of me that hinders me from doing so. I hate myself. I know that this person maybe thinking the same thing as I am, that
it is the other person's fault, not mine, so why say sorry. So in the end, no
one would and it would be that way forever.
I know
that the only answer to this problem is to just say sorry, and accept that we
both have faults in the matter. I just hope that this would end already. I
really miss this person and I really don't want our friendship to change just
because of this one petty thing. Aarrgh! I feel stupid!
Akala ko hindi ako yung mapride na tao, pero mapride din pala
ako! tsk feeling ko tuloy ang sama sama ko! arrgh hindi ko na dapat hinayaan na humantong sa ganito to! Ang hirap! Peste talaga!
So much
for this so called PRIDE! I hate you!
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4 comments:
dayuuum I can relate!
how are you now with your friend?, thankfully we're okay already... hope you are too!
She transefered to another school. don't have any news about her anymore. We'll just move on. If we got to bump into each other, I think we could already say hi to one another. :) Oh, that's good! Sometimes you just have to distance yourself from conflicting situations because at times, seing things from a distance makes you see the reality.
i remembered what our adviser told us, it's the same as your situation.that when she and her friend finally met again, they just realized that they have just fought with such a petty reason, and so they say sorry and they became friends again...i hope you also have a happy ending... i'll pray for you and your friend! (sorry for the late reply)
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