The Little Ordinary Things

This was supposed to be my reaction paper in one of our film viewing, I took the initiative to make one already way way before the film showing, but sadly I was not able to use this completely since there were questions provided. So I just said to myself to use this as a blog post. Here it is. (added a little more to make it more personal)

The Little Ordinary Things

“Slow down and enjoy life, it is not only the scenery that you miss by going too fast, you also miss the sense of where you are going and why”

This is a quote I learned from our retreat and I believe this could relate to what the movie “Tuesdays with Morrie” would like to portray.  Just like Mitch, our life is going just too fast that we disregard a lot of things, simple things that in the end would be the matter of our life. I still am uncertain on things that I want in life including my priorities that at times, I kept on wishing for time to be fast so I would not dwell much on the days that I don’t feel fine. I never actually tried to just enjoy and appreciate life the way it is, with all its goodness and whimsicality, I’m always being preoccupied with not so important things. Little things do matter, from the mere touch of a friend, simple text messages from your loved ones, to a smile from a stranger, things that before I do not seem to value at times and most often I take for granted, but now I learned how to treasure moments like those and hoping to learn to just live life day by day and appreciate the beauty of life.

There are a lot of topics that the movie was able to challenge us to ponder upon, from the theme of living, up to the point of dying; that we must love one another or die; that when you know how to die, you’ll know how to live; that we are just not mere waves but rather a part of something bigger; that we’re afraid of love- receiving and giving it for we are afraid to give ourselves to someone we just might lose. Let me just take this as a chance to have a share on my perceptions and feelings about those things.

Like Mitch, I have trouble dealing with certain issues of life as well. I never understood life. Its twists and turns. I tried, but it’s really a complex thing for me especially that of the tension of opposites, Morrie is talking about. That constant push and pull to and from something. The things you have to do and those you are not supposed to, wanting to do this but is bound and expected to do something else, choosing between doing the good thing or the bad thing. Things you have to believe and those that you don’t have to. Things you can control and those you cannot.  Having the thing you really wanted but not getting happy. That at times something will hurt you, yet you know it shouldn't. Taking certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything or anyone for granted. Life really has its way of somehow controlling or tricking us, but that is not the point of all these things but the fact that we are created as rational and loving individuals capable of making the right choices in life. I kept on asking why can’t life be just simple as it may be, having no problems nor any worries, but then again things like these make our lives make sense and be worthy of living.

Let me talk about dying. It’s funny how we use the words death and dying in our context today. The expression like “Oh no, I’m gonna die”, “I’m deadz” or “This is the end of me”, just like the football player in the movie. That whenever something bad has happened or is about to happen, we would think that our lives would be over, that that failure, fiasco, catastrophe or whatever would be the definition of who we are. Death usually equates with something negative, but Morrie was able to show us the different side of it, more on the positive side of dying, which is getting as much as possible out of the life he has left.

 I have been thinking about dying very often when I entered college, maybe because I have more time alone in my dorm and I get to feel how to be apart from my family. I remembered how I would cry every night during my first year. My dad stayed with me for the first few days and I was really having a difficult time sleeping, I kept on waking every hour and looking at my dad and I would just cry. When he left, I cried even more, though I know it’s just an hour travel home, and it got me thinking what more if they’re already gone. I thought my crying would not end. It did. But, it started all again last semester. I would really cry a lot every night and then spiritual nursing came up and I cried even more. I would think of my parents dying and how I could not handle it.  I would always think that what if, I would be left alone. The very thought of losing someone I really love is just devastating.  It made me think what if the real thing happened already, would I still be able to cry having been crying for it almost every time.  I would always think about how I am going to die and how I am not ready for it yet. I don’t want to die a senseless death, I remembered what I wrote in my previous reaction papers, that it is not death that I fear in dying, it is more of the things that I have not done yet but should have, this would include all the regrets I have pilled up, having no one beside me as I am on my way to the end of my life, also, what I fear most is that death comes with judgment, and I’m not prepared yet to face Him, not like this.

What I admired about Mitch was his initiative to learn on how to take care of Morrie, also his efforts of making time to spend with him. It’s just that I don’t really know how to handle things like those, being closely attached to someone. For others, gestures like those would just be normal but it’s the other way around for me. It’s sad to think that I am able to take care of other people during our duty but I don’t actually take care of my parents the way I take care of them. I really want to take care of them but I’m too shy to do so. I took up nursing to be able to take care of them, but it’s not what is happening. Communication and interaction is my sort of weakness, I don’t know how to express myself effectively with people even to the ones close to me or sadly I did not even bother to, thinking that people don’t care. Also, I don’t know how to really comfort people; I don’t know what the right things to do, right words to say so at times I just keep quiet, making silence not the best thing I can offer but the only thing I can. I’d like to think that I am more of a listener, whenever I pity myself; I really like listening to people, their life stories and experiences.

 I think,first of all, that what Mitch showed to Morrie was the best thing one can offer to an ill/dying patient- being a good companion. No one wants to die alone, like what Morrie said that in dying, we need others to survive. Morrie did not experience being alone since he was surrounded by loving people who is ready to take good care of him. What I admired about Mitch was his initiative to learn on how to take care of Morrie, also his efforts of making time to spend with him and with that, at the end, he was able to touch the life of Morrie. More than the physical/medical care given to Morrie, what is more important is that of the social interaction and emotional support. As nurses we must be somehow emotionally involved, in order to get to know our patients better and take good care of them. Also we must encourage the participation of the family and friends in the process; emphasize to them the need for good interaction, so that the patient would be able to communicate whatever his feelings would be, thus making it easier for him to accept his death. The thing about death is that it is not in the usual context of our conversations that we tend not to talk about it, but it is important that a dying patient is able to verbalize his concerns, to be engaged on intimate conversations for him not to have feelings of loneliness or being abandoned. Just like Mitch, I too think that people especially dying ones are not always like Morrie. Other people may take death depressingly that taking care of them can somehow become difficult. But we should not let personal diversities hinder us in delivering the best palliative care we could give.

Am I ready? No, am I leading the life I want to lead? Somehow, am I the person I want to be? Not yet. I guess this makes me and others different from Morrie. He had live his life to the fullest and always thinking positively unlike me who is scared almost all my life. That’s why I think we should do what we love and what makes us happy because we only live one life. Be with the person that makes us happy and do things that make us happy. If we accept the fact that we can die at any time, we’d live our lives differently. In dying, the great things we want in life including money, achievements, and properties are usually the ones that don’t matter anymore; rather the simple things are those that make the difference.

Sometimes you cannot believe what you see; you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have other people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too - even when you're in the dark, even when you're falling.

I’d like to end with this very nice quote. At one point or two in our lives, we think that we’re all alone. No shoulder to cry to when you have problems, not having someone to hold hands with when you’re scared, not having someone to share your joy. Whenever I feel sad, I would always that there are a lot of people who care about me, my family my friends, who are there whatever happens, who would love me unconditionally. And most especially I know that God would always be there.

Be my reader! :)